STROLLING WITH LUCIFER : A HORNY NIGHT

After returning from the grocery store down the street, I rang the door bell and tried to rest my tired body on the door but it gave way. I was surprised. Who the hell left the door open? Kim is always an idiot, after correcting her millions of times, she still leaves the door ajar. Such ineptitude! She's lucky I'm too tired to climb upstairs. It was have been an awful night for her, for both of us. She is equally kvetching psycho.

Since I learnt the meaning of that word 'ineptitude' three days ago, more than 300 people have been victims already, like a hundred daily. The phrase, 'Such Ineptitude' was hissed at everyone that did anything I find undesirable. The list of victims include my classmates, the Uber driver who asked for my number, the security guard at the bank who stared at me suspiciously as if my face was has been displayed in the 'wanted' list, the pervert waiter at County's who smiled at me like an idiot and saliva dripped from his mouth just because the first two buttons of my shirt were loose, I decided not to wear bra as I was just going down the street, that is not enough reason to be so inept! The the list is inexhaustible. And finally the attendant at the grocery store down my street tonight. He wore a shirt that read, 'These Hoes Ain't Loyal'. Such ineptitude! Without putting off my clothes and make-up, and boots, I sank into the settee and curled up like a kitten missing its mother. Now I miss Mike. Our love was out of the world and beyond. I miss him real bad. I could remember his gentle but firm arms holding me close to his hairy chest. His abs were like six rocks arranged perfectly for the sole purpose of guarding my lost and pitiful soul. I always felt relaxed and safe in his arms. His penetrating blue eyes can melt the heart of the wicked witch in Little Red Riding Hood, and my Contract Law Lecturer, Miss Nasty, as we 'fondly' called her. Her real name is Maia Khallifah. Only Heaven knows what nationality she is of, some say she is Persian.

Those eyes of his peered and reached into my soul. I could not even lie to him at those times it was necessary to, because I felt he was reading my mind, like he could see my exact thoughts and waiting for me to blurt out the lies. His gaze restrains me, I always ended up saying the truth, no matter how bitter. I was defenseless against his charm. Then he would smile widely with is pink and supple lips and tell me, "Mimi, it's fine, we all make mistakes, just make sure the lesson is learnt". No doubt, I would think, he is my angel, sent directly from heaven to me. Then I would hum Keysha Cole's 'Heaven Sent' with my face pressed against his chest. His hairy chin on my face feels like paradise. And when we get down to 'business', he takes me on a journey of no return. A journey that feels a million miles away from earth, into the sky and beyond, maybe to a planet called Euphoria. Maybe I usually returned, but I definitely never returned the same way. I usually feel like a totally different person. I feel him inside of me till the next time. But now there will be no next time, the bastard is gone for good. The cheater, male-whore, the son-of-a-bitch! I felt the urge to spit in a corner of the room but I retained my manners. I have manners. Anyway, why should I should waste my saliva on that nonentity whose brain is located beneath his manhood? But I still can't deny the fact that he always made me feel so good. The thought of him is the death of me. Now I have to sleep horny. Why did I even remember him? That night I slept with dangerously erotic thoughts about myself. About Myslef and Mike. As I woke up, I could not open my eyes. I could not move any part of my body, not even my lips. I felt as I was weighed down by something very heavy. What exactly is happening? Am I?.... To be continued NEXT SUNDAY... There is something dangerously interesting about this story. I'll tell you at the end... Author: ABAYOMI AHMED O.